Last night, just before he went to sleep, Small Child was telling me about his day. "I got a certificate today Mummy, for being very brave" he said. "Wow!" I answered, "What did you do that was brave?" He went on to tell me how he had volunteered to 'do a challenge' in assembly. Quite a few of the children volunteered, and they had each had to pick a challenge to do in front of the whole school. He ended up being last, so he had to take the last challenge that nobody else had wanted to do, which was to sing a song, all by himself, in front of everyone. "I felt quite shy Mummy, but I did it!" he told me. I asked him to sing it to me too, because I wasn't there, and so he did. It was beautiful! I am so proud of him - my lovely boy, who rose to the challenge and sang in front of everyone, and me. I'm definitely having a proud parent moment (sorry!), I'm really not sure I would have been so brave at his age!
That's my boy all over though, bright, and brave, willing to stand up on his own, and take a challenge, even if by doing so he may come across a little 'different', and leave himself open for criticism. I am so very proud of him! What has this to do with lunch though, my usual topic here on my blog? Well, last night I discovered an article online that was a nasty, and very personal attack on me and my blog, written by a fellow mother. I'm not going to go into a rant about it, but I wanted to pick up on one thing - among the many things that she had to say was an accusation that I leave Small Child open to bullying, by making his lunches fun and creative.
Now I see that this could be a possibility, given the tendency of children to pick on things that are different, but as far as I am aware this issue has never come up with Small Child. I check with him regularly to see whether he is still happy to have his lunches in this form, and so far he is always aghast at the idea that I would stop - he absolutely loves them! I love making them too, so we are both very happy with the arrangement. If he did come up against any unpleasantness though, this is what I would tell him.
"Everyone is different, everyone does things their own way, and we should always try to be brave, to stand up to those who would challenge us, and assert our right to be different, to be creative, to be ourselves. We should never change ourselves to avoid being bullied - the bullies are the ones with the problem, not us".
This is what I was brought up to believe, and this is what I want to teach my children. Bullying is never OK, be it by a 5 year old or an adult, who should know better. There, I feel better now!
Back to lunch! This morning I packed Small Child a lunch full of love! In this lunch he had pieces of leftover chicken kebab from dinner the night before (see child friendly recipe here), decorated with a couple of heart picks, a large wholemeal pitta bread, cut into hearts using a heart shaped cookie cutter, cucumber slices, with carrot hearts inserted into each one, organic natural yoghurt, topped with heart sprinkles, mandarin segments, and some red grapes hearts, skewered on a heart pick. You can see how I made the grape hearts in this post. I finished the lunch off with a little chocolate chick left from Easter, as a special treat.
I showed Small Child the lunch before I packed it in his lunch bag - he was delighted with it! He may be a boy but he still loves cutesy hearts, and I am very happy for him to remain in that lovely innocent frame of mind for as long as possible - all too quickly childhood passes and 'fitting in' becomes the norm.
One last thing, I just wanted to say thank you to a whole lot of very wonderful people, who came out and supported me on twitter, last night and today. I have been blown away by the sheer volume of very lovely and very supportive comments from the blogging community and fellow parents, who put pressure on the website in question to remove the article I mentioned above. The article has now been removed, and I look forward to 'normal service' being resumed here on the blog tomorrow, but I will never forget that absolutely amazing response.
To quote some bento blogging friends of mine: "Lets make lunch, not war!"
Grace
Mamabelly says
You are amazing and your lunches are beautiful! I am glad so many people rallied around you when someone attacked you in an article. I love your blog and your lunch ideas and I agree: Let's make lunch, not war!
Hurrah For Gin says
A beautiful post Grace and i wholeheartedly agree with everything you say - it's a shame that you were ever forced to justify yourself really.
Very glad that horrible article has been removed. Keep doing what you are doing xxx
Melissa says
Rock on mama! Way to be brave and stand up to bullying. Your son has a great role model in you.
Rebecca W. says
Yay for your awesome son!!! Singing in front of the whole school (or even a smaller group) can be so scary. I wouldn't want to do it!! And yay for you, too. I am so honored to know you and proud that you aren't letting a bully hurt you or stop you from doing what you love. That's really what it's about...doing something you love for someone you love. Win = Win!
Liska @NewMumOnline says
For a war there has to be two sides, and luckily nice people rallied round and there was an absence of anyone, standing on the other side, to defend the article, hence no war. The food in the Bento box may be segregated but last night, on Twitter, the parent blogging community was most certainly not 🙂
xxxxx
pantomum says
I was one of those Twitter objectors to that article. As an older mum of older boys who have hot meals at school, the only experience of packed lunches that I have is when they go on school trips and then it is a fun experience for all. I can imagine that instilling an everyday packed lunch with excitement takes a lot of time and thought, and if your blog gives mummies little ideas to make food attractive then why should another mum attack you for it? If she objects to it, she could simply log out of your blog - not slate you publicly. We all do things to ease our kids into school life, (on school trips away I always put little notes from the rest of the family in the suitcase for the kids to find), and clearly your son is thriving. Chin up!
Mama Owl says
I think you and your lunches are wonderful, and your son has a wonderful role model in you. I've written a little something on my blog about it too, such was my disappointment to read something so mean spirited. In the wise words of Dr Seuss - be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Keep up the good work, your lunches and ideas are inspirational! x
Emma TheMiniMesAndMe says
People shouldn't fear being different due to the possibility of bullying. You should be proud to be who you are and live the way you want to.
Another gorgeous lunch - yum! x
Venia says
I'm constantly bombarded by stories of horrors facing families. I do not understand why anyone would choose to go on record as denouncing someone that goes a bit above and beyond to add something positive to their child's day. That woman's opinion reeked of jealousy and her need to drag everyone down to her level of doing the absolute least possible is horrible. I choose to celebrate people like you, Grace. <3 Well done for shining a little light in the world!
Anna : The Imagination Tree says
Grace, I was so appalled by the hideous article when I read it this morning, and I want you to know how much you are supported by your community. Unfortunately, creativity breeds a lot of very ugly jealousy by some people, which is so sad. I've been similarly ripped apart in a popular online forum and I know how awfully those words can hurt, even when we know they're total nonsense. I'm so glad it has been removed and hope you go on to win all the awards you are nominated for!
big love xxx
dosirakbento says
Great Post!
Haven't seen the article but good that is has been removed now.
Victoria says
I saw the article through Facebook, and I'm very pleased for you - and for parents and bloggers in general - that it's been removed.
I love reading about what other people are doing, and I take inspiration from all over the place and use it to improve my parenting - just this week we've made new playdough, and played with coloured rice courtesy of The Imagination Tree (above). I will never be able to do all the activities, or make perfect packed lunches, but I take the bits that I need, and enjoy all the rest in the spirit in which it's meant - not as a slight on my abilities as a person or a parent!
I sew, knit and make things for my children and I love hearing them tell people that "mummy made it for me". I hope they don't get too embarassed any time soon, but when they do I'll just make things for them to have at home!
My Two Mums says
I'm so glad the article got taken down. You are fab and create fantastic imaginative lunches, anyone who says differently is jealous!
Emma says
I am so sorry you experienced this Grace, I think your blog and your ideas are great. Nothing wrong with encouraging a lifelong relationship with healthy food by creating imaginative lunches and all that! Emma 🙂
Mummy Whiskers says
You're an inspiring woman through such creative meals and standing your ground against bullies. Keep going mama! X
Frazzled Mum says
A brilliant post, and so very true about bullies. As my boys always say 'bullies aren't brave'. When my children were small I used to cut sandwiches into animal shapes for them, anything to make things more fun. Their friends always loved it too. I should imagine that your son's friends are envious of his beautiful lunches, I know I am!
Pinkoddy says
What a fantastic post. You know even reading that bitter article I felt the love you have for your son so this is a very fitting lunch. Ooooh I have a heart cutter too!
liveotherwise says
Lovely post and fabulous lunch. I'm glad that your dom has such a wonderful role model in his mother, and also that this experience has served to strengthen your community, rather than weaken you individually. Long may the packed lunches continue.
Model mummy (@rowdyreviewer) says
I think a few mummies across the internet need to take a small note of a love lunch!
I love what you do - you keep me inspired!
@katgrant30 (Bumps & Grind) says
Hi Grace - so glad the article is now removed... It was incredibly trashy and unnecessarily personal! Your lunches are amazeballs and I would love to incorporate some of these creative touches into my son's day when he starts school... Well done to your son for the singing too! X
Cristi says
Hooray for mums like you Grace!
Honest Mum says
Thanks for this (brought tears to my eyes)-you are an incredible mother, an artist not just a blogger, brightening up all our days with your creations, inspiring all who read about you and spreading sunshine daily to your son's life through food.
I was so saddened to read the post attacking you but you've risen above it all, so dignified and just and well done to that beautiful boy of yours who is testament to your brilliant parenting.
I need to feel a bit brave about something right now and you've (both) given me courage, thank you xx
HELEN says
I love love love the grape hearts & will be trying those out for sure.
Keep doing what you do, they are just jealous that they don't have the skills to make grape hearts! 😉
x
Madelein says
Sounds like a lovely little boy 🙂
Sara-Jayne says
A beautiful and dignified post, Grace...and after my many years of teaching 5-11 year olds, I can assure you that they are more than fascinated by anything unusual and creative in a lunchbox, I've never heard anyone with anything but excitement over things like bento, special foods or little notes from their parents.
TheBoyandMe says
Oh I've just come over all teary; how gorgeous that he sang his song for you, and that he wants to continue having your lovingly made Bento boxes.
I am so pleased that you had the wonderful reaction last night that you did, the blogging community can be ok sometimes!
Keitha says
This is a beautiful post. I love what you said about being your own person. Your heart lunch looks cute and delicious.
Andrea says
Great post, you certainly have a lovely way with words as well as lunches 😉 So glad the article was removed, I'm disgusted it was ever published. Keep up the good work 🙂
Elizabeth Williams says
A beautiful and very eloquently written post x
mama syder says
I felt really sad to read that article this morning as I know what its like to have unkind things said about you on a public forum, it can feel soul destroying. Very pleased to see all the lovely support you have received. If my kids were still at school I would have wanted to give Bento a go, I think they are gorgeous. Keep doing what you are doing x
Bethan Jones says
Beautifully written, as always Grace you have great dignity, keep doing what your doing and keep being who you are x onwards and upwards to you xxx
Oh!Bento UK says
Perfect response to that horrible person. I hope she reads this and realises how truly vile she was. You are awesome and we all love you!
Anne (The Gingerbread Mum) says
A wonderfully dignified response, Grace. Super proud of YOU! xx
Emma says
This is the most perfect response, I never saw the article but this post right here shows that you're the bigger person in all of this!
Ariani says
Very well written response, Grace. You're awesome and so inspiring!
Gammon & Chips (@maddiesinclair) says
Hi Grace, I'm fairly late to all of this, but I just want to say that it has absolutely bewildered and angered me. You do amazing things for your son and are clearly extremely talented, loving and caring, so keep on doing what you're doing (I know you fully intend to... I'm just offering my wholehearted support!). I run an anti-bullying campaign called 'Love for Izzy Dix' and it really upsets me that Parentdish allowed the original article to be commissioned/posted. They have always been very supportive of our campaign in the past and have a whole section on their website about anti-bullying issues. This was a very poor decision on their part. I hope they realise the huge error of their ways. I am so pleased you are bigger than all this and you are clearly very secure in yourself, just as I know your son is too because he has you as a mum who has been teaching him this. I love the title of your post – because love is the most important thing in the world. I have no time for silly one-up-woman-ship battles from insecure people. Don't bully. Love instead. Love for Izzy Dix. (And love for Grace Hall too!) Thinking of you and inspired by you. Maddie xoxo
corinne says
This is the first time I've seen your blog and I think it's lovely, what a great lunch for your little boy. When my eldest (now 15) was little he used to sometimes get comments about his lunch, they were always healthy and were often something like left over pasta which he loves, but now as a teenager he eats a wide range of food and loves trying new things. You are doing the absolute best thing for your child by showing him the joy you can get from food, keep up the good work!